Away, I am fading…

I am beginning to master the art of letting go and fading away…

There is something about going through the motions of depression, into the depths of emotional despair that changes who you are. I want to believe that the chronic phases of feeling empty is part of the bigger picture, an endgame. Something has happened to my memory and I can no longer recall the past. I am starting to wonder what nostalgia might feel like. Perhaps, no longer having any interests in the things that once brought joy is important for my growth as a person. A blank slate. A fresh start. Maybe…

It is like the consciousness or the soul (if that exists) has detected too many red flags with life and decided to power off. Maybe, this is a meditative state to let go of the old habits, old attachments, old ways...

Tell me, can you paint something new over something wasted… faded… ?

~From my journal. Dated: March 6, 2016 10:42 AM